New Beginnings by Raghad Al Rijraji

Posted on April 7, 2011 by

0


January:

I stood behind him while i watched him throw the last remaining bag into the fireplace. It burned and burned. The white substance turning into ashes and smoke. He had a determined look on his face. I was surprised how fast he acted upon the news, surprised how willing he was to give up his comfortable zone. I misjudged him; thinking he was going to back down. But his instant support was right in my face.

“I’m ready for this. I can do it. I think” He whispered while turning to face me.

“Just… Just promise me to be there when it gets too hard”

I promised.

 

March:

It was hard. To keep my promise was a very hard thing to do. It’s been 2 months now. He screamed, threw fits, slept outside of the house for days. But he never gave in to the drugs or the liquid. It was hard watching him struggle, for it was defiantly not his fault. He had the choice of walking away and not burdening himself with this.

He was an emotional wreck.

But as long as he kept his promise; I kept mine.

 

May:

I loved him. I loved him to an extinct that nobody could understand. The kind of love that electrified you. It become your haven, your sanctuary. The kind of love that poets wrote about. The kind that always ended with tragedies. The kind that hurt sometimes. He grew so much in me. He ran along my blood and consumed my mind.

He loved me in January, I fell for him in May.

 

July:

This was it. I got a decent job, I got clean, I’ve been sober since January. And this is what it was for. I knew the moment she hit me with the news that this was worth it. I knew that this day provided me with strenght no other drug could. The idea of going back to my fixes sickens me. What I am holding in my arms now was far more precious; purer. It filled me with over flowing joy, indescribable relief.

I was a lost man. Relying on anger and resentment for survival. Thinking that I was the wisest soul on earth, because i did not fall for the deceiving ways of the saints.

It only took a beat of her heart. A look of her glossy eyes, to make me realize what a sad pathetic human i was before.

She layed a new beginning before me, a new page, a new life. And I was filled with pride to hold my new born child.

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