John by Latifa Al Jasser

Posted on September 20, 2011 by

1


(In order to understand this piece, you must first read this explanation.)

I closed my eyes to focus on trying to block the pain and guilt washing over my body. I looked down at the body I had to kill, a young reckless teenager. I automatically dialed the number that could always make me feel better, to hear her voice.

How could I be so heartless?

Beep…

How could I agree to being the devil himself to win my father’s approval?

Beep…

I’ve been doing it for so long, but the guilt still lingered on my shoulders.

Beep…

Will I ever forgive myself?

Beep…

One day I’ll take away my own soul like I took many before.

Beep…

Why am I living this life if all I do is take others’ lives away?

Beep…

I won’t accept it anymore.

Beep…

Suddenly realization hit me; I haven’t even picked up the phone.

Beep…

What was the source of the beeping? It was a heart monitor.

Beep…

“Daddy?” a soft voice I recognized almost instantly; my daughter’s.  The token I got from a beautiful Eve.

Beep…

“Don’t leave me.”  She sobbed

Beep…

I smiled weakly it’s about time I stop doing the evil deeds.

Beep…

At last it was my time to go.

Beep…

Finally I can escape this dirty world. My heart shall weep for its loss, but my soul is laughing for the peace it has found.

Beep…

All this time I thought I was learning how to live turns out I was learning how to die. One more beep from the monitor, one more second before the guilt feeling could drain from my body to soak my soul.

Beep…

‘We are born with two incurable diseases, life from which we die, and hope, which says maybe death isn’t the end’ was John’s last thought before his soul was soaked in guilt and his body was drained from it.

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Posted in: John