Glass by Ayya Al Badr

Posted on November 28, 2011 by

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She ran her fingers along the smooth surface, mimicking his actions from behind the wall. His face was but inches away from hers, and she could clearly see his eyes, his gaze burning into her. She moved her lips closer to his, their breaths fogging up the reflection of their faces almost touching. She looked down at her hands and the outline of his against them. They moved them together, almost testing the strength of the magnetic force between them. Their torsos pushed against each other, creating a false sense of heat only they could feel. She couldn’t take her eyes off their hands, the smoothness and coordination of their movements.

 

His fingers were dark lines brushing against hers, slowly at first, then picking up pace. She hurried to follow his lead, but he suddenly pulled back. She kept her hands on the glass wall between them, wondering why he pulled away. She felt a cold breeze against her chest, and wrapped her arms around her torso. He turned around and took a step away from her. She stood where she was and watched his dark silhouette slowly move away from her, becoming more unclear with every step he took.

“Where is he going?”

“Why did he leave?”

“What is he thinking?”

 

I heard the door hinge creak behind me, and turned to see who it was. He walked in through the door and startled me. The last person I expected to see at a time like this. I felt a shortage of breath and turned around to face him. “What on Earth are you doing here?”

He stayed where he was, at the door, and smiled that familiar smile. Thoughts raced wildly through my mind. “Why are you back? What more do you want from me?”

He didn’t move, and I instantly recognized his tactic. “A snake doesn’t move before its prey does,” he once told me. I pushed that thought away and took a few steps toward him. Our eyes conversed silently, and I felt the poison in his. I stopped in my tracks and waited for him to make his move. His smile dropped into a tight grin as he walked up to me.

Three feet between us now. “Hello,” he whispered.

 

“Who’s that with him?” She could see the distant, fuzzy outline of a figure almost his height standing next to him. “Who is that?” Her pulse quickened and heat raced up her spine. She wanted to yell at him to come back, but she didn’t want to seem obsessed. The breeze blowing against her chest strengthened into a wind and her body heat increased despite of it.

“Come back to me. Leave whoever pulled you away from me and come back.”

 

For a second, I forgot her presence. He has done the unimaginable and managed to peel my mind off of her, even though briefly. I turned to look back at her, and found her in the same place I had left her, standing on the other side of the glass wall. “I’m sorry”, I thought. “I just need to finish this up.”

Puzzled and angered by his sudden arrival, I asked him what it was he wanted, why he’d decided to reappear after all this time. “I’ve come to give you back what I owe you,” he told me. I searched in his eyes for hints of a lie. The poison I previously sensed had evaporated, and I was left lost judging between his misty gaze and his defensive posture.

 

“Come back!” She pushed her palms against the wall, then realized it wouldn’t make a difference. He could no longer feel her heat. She started tapping gently, trying to grab his attention without forcing it. He gave no response. She tapped harder and harder, but he still gave her no recognition. Feeling incredibly lost and lonely, she started wondering who the person with him could possibly be. Her thoughts went dark and her chest started tightening. She walked away from the wall.

 

I heard a tapping sound behind me, and turned around to find her dark form pressed against the wall, trying to grab my attention. I grabbed his elbow and tried to walk him across the room closer to her. He stopped me after two steps, but the tapping had already come to a halt. We started discussing details, my mind occasionally drifting back to her. “Hold on, my love. I’ll be with you when I’m done.”

 

The hours went by and she felt more hurt and neglected as each minute passed. She figured it’s a woman with him. He looked like he was standing awfully close to her, and she could hear faint murmurs between them.

Jealousy overcame her, boiling her blood.

“I deserve better”, she told herself repeatedly. “I deserve so much better.”

 

We settled our deal, and I was surprised he was actually true to his word. He told me he had to leave now, and I was relieved I didn’t need to spend another minute with him. His presence had always troubled me, and it wasn’t any different now.

 

Her eyes start watering up. Images she wish weren’t true started rolling in her mind.

 

“I hope I never have to see my brother again.”

 

She was far from the wall, drowning in a flood of emotion.

“He left me without warning. He left me and he wouldn’t even bother responding to my reaching out to him. I think I lost him.”

 

I was left agitated and disturbed by his reappearance. The nerve he had showing up after all that time like it was no big deal, then giving me back what he owed like it would magically fix everything. I was still flustered by our encounter, and sank to the floor. “I need to be alone now. I need to think.”

 

“Would he come back?” Worry and longing poured into her lake of negativity. She was hurt, but she wanted him back.

 

“I needed to clear my mind.” I crawled to a corner and crossed my legs. I needed to breathe.

 

She walked back to the frosted glass wall and struggled to find a glimpse of his silhouette somewhere.

She squinted her eyes and continued her search to no avail. The unclear glass hindered her view, and She couldn’t seem to find either of their figures.

“Has he left with her?”

“I won’t take this any longer”, she thought. “It hurts too much”. She left.

 

I woke up, finding myself on the ground in the corner of the room. I got up and the first thing I thought of was my need for comfort. My second thought was her. I walked over to the glass wall and knocked on it, but she didn’t respond. I figured she was busy.

I came back an hour later and knocked again.

She usually responds right away. “Where is she?”

 

She missed him, but thinking of the foggy wall he put up between them, hiding and sheltering him from her view hurt her. No matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t go back.

 

“Where did she go?”

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Posted in: Glass