Letter by Najood Al Terkawi

Posted on March 12, 2012 by

0


Dear _____________,

That’s what you to me; a blank. You are but the most fleeting phenomenon I’ve ever known. There was a time in my life when I knew of no sin or sorrow because you so perfectly draped your white blanket over me and I never tried to get out from underneath its enveloping hug. The outside seemed more than just harshly cold.  In fact, you made me believe that the temperature of the real world could give me frost bite. The little girl I was…the little girl everybody viewed as angelic didn’t want to believe in anything except you. Why did you leave so soon?

It’s funny how you pretended to be infinite. Once you departed, I started to realize that I had believed your lies. I was an oblivious child, stuck walking in the footsteps I thought you set for me, but by the time you changed your mind and walked out, it was as easy to trace those footsteps as it is to find a tear on wet asphalt. You are pain and you are beauty all at once. You magnify what angels do and you go in and out of every soul in just a few years time. How do you grow? How do you survive if you are so short-lived? I keep asking questions as if you are going to come back to my doorstep to answer. You were the first to ever make me cry, to ever make me hesitate, to ever make me believe in hell and heaven. I lost you but I don’t know why. Was it something I did…?

After you left, I was forced to grow up; something that I wish I could have a time machine to fix.  Because of your sudden disappearance, I moved with the current of sin. The halo that every baby is born with seems to need a new light bulb. This is your fault.

I’m sure you think I’m addressing the North Star, a wish bone, or maybe Father Time. Wake up, innocence it’s you I’m asking for.

Sincerely,

The girl you left too soon.

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