Coffee by Mayadah AlTurki

Posted on April 23, 2012 by


I miss myself after you left.

The worst version of me.

I know I miss the confusion.

My stability longs for breakdowns.

I want all the worst.

I want to go back to the times I would live only through my angst.

When I lost all sense of worth.

The great sadness indescribable, but perfectly reasonable.

I love the sulky mornings after the late night sessions.

The dark circles under my eyes after consuming cup after cup of dark, bitter coffee.

Coffee to keep me up and away from my nightmares.

Thank you coffee for being my guardian when my greatest fear was the sight of him in my sweet slumber.

I miss myself when I was broken .

Because the broken version of myself was the last of you I could call my own.

I let your words eat away my insides.

I could indulge myself in absolute resentment towards my being.

And call it a memory of you.

I placed the worst you’ve done, on the highest of pillars.

Only to call it healing.

And if they were to ask I would blame the caffeine intake.

Thank you coffee for taking the fall, thank you for letting me have the last of him I could call my own.

Thank you for letting me shatter and crack.

For letting me be and a keeping me at peace with my crusade.

Coffee I give you my love for entitling me to my flawless psychosis.

Posted in: Coffee