Fear by Dona

Posted on December 18, 2012 by


Sleep had failed me, but memories took me over and wandered their directions. Having a memory lane of let downs, failed anticipations, courtesies of welfare that were faced with ignorance, then nothing sticking down but the memory of when I first Loved You.


So I fight with you then fall in love again, all through that vision of memories I’ve drawn. And I wonder, what if those fights had driven us apart? what if I lost you? What if my eyes lost the brightness you once gave them, and I ceased to look at you with the love you once savoured?


What if you saw me from afar, even shook hands with me, but failed to see any shimmer, neither a simper of those I once gave you, and you knew that this was beyond your fixing?


Then tell me what you’d do if I’m gone.. What if you’re gone? What if gone takes over its literal meaning, and one of us is no longer in present?

What if gone means that the heart I feel you through – beating within as if it was true – ceased its beating and stopped?


What if I wake up in a morning; without you, as calendar had left you behind; right in a day that wont come again, and I’m alone, with those visions of conflict and this bit of memories I have with you? Or ending up with fear, of a happening, even after it had happened.


So I realise, too late, that I never really fear anything when I have you there, but this precise possibility of loss. I’ll keep on loving you no matter how. Maybe someday an absence is minimally bearable because somehow I did it right..

Posted in: Fear